Monday, October 29, 2007

road safety

Today i learned an important lesson while travelling in the bus on my journey from trivandrum to bangalore. The bus had crossed nager coil and i saw the lady sitting right behind me throwing a bag of waste onto the road. This was on the right side of the vehicle right onto oncoming traffic. The bag missed the guy who was coming in a cycle from the opposite direction. There are two things to learn from here. When you are in a moving bus, do not throw articles out of the bus. Two is that when you drive(you could have been the cycle rider) drive defensively so that you are ready to escape even if some blockheaded guy throws out something onto the road.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

one day at the training centre

Today was my first day at the training course for getting prepared for marriage. It was with great difficulty that i came for this marriage. I generally hate training classes . But throwing all my expectations to thin air todays classes were very entertaining. Each class just got getting better and better. I was expecting a drab and boring class from a group of boring priest(they generally are a boring lots)

the first class was by rev father nicholas t. His was a high tech presentation using power point from his laptop. He introduced up to the whole course. He explained from points from the bible how to approach marriage. He urged people not to go for marriage and to leave if they cant follow by what he said. His use of the visual media kept the audience attention.

the next person was a father in plain clothes . Fr alex i think. He was explaini for the next hour the meaning of each part of the holy mass. Half of the time he was making some jokes or explaining some unrelated things and at the end of the class he had finished explaining only the first five minutes of the holy mass.

the last person for today gave a lecture so entertaining that for a second i thought it a stand up comedy show. The person was a clinical psychologist. He talked about how peoples tastes are different and how adjusting to others beliefs and habits is very important. His was one of the most entertaining classes i have ever attended.

the only downside is the very strict atmosphere here. If you are a minute late to class after the bell rings your name will be noted down by the good looking nun. And you may have to attend that class the next time to get the certificate.

Monday, October 22, 2007

FW: Stock Market

The Stock Market simply illustrated.... is there a lesson here?

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50." The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !! -

Welcome to the stock Market!!!!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

hi hi


Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab ..
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child   

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Old man joke

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better," the old man replied. "I've got an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant & delivered a child. What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.
The doctor thought for a moment,then said, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who is an hunter. He never misses a season for hunting. But,one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, "So he's walking in the woods near a creek,and suddenly he spots a lion in some brush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.
BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must have shot that lion."

"Exactly"... Said the Doc.

Wipro bus mishap

Angry public set bus on fire

Staff Reporter

— Photo: K. Murali Kumar

Mob fury: The bus which was burnt down by an angry mob after it ran over a woman on Hosur Road in Bangalore on Tuesday.

Bangalore: Angry residents set a private bus on fire after it killed a pedestrian near Singasandra on Bangalore-Hosur Road on Tuesday night.

According to the police, the bus was ferrying employees of Wipro from Electronics City to their houses in the city. Around 7.45 p.m., the driver of the bus reportedly lost control over the vehicle and hit a woman who was crossing the road. She died on the spot.

Case registered

The onlookers soon began to gather at the spot. Fearing an attack, the driver ran away. People then asked the 30-odd Wipro employees in the bus to get down.

They later set the vehicle on fire. Two fire tenders were rushed to spot to extinguish the fire.

The Madiwala traffic police have registered a case and are making efforts to identify the victim. The police are yet to get in touch with the private bus operator to get the details about the driver.

Traffic disrupted

The traffic on one side of the busy Hosur Road was disrupted for nearly an hour. The traffic was diverted for sometime on the service road.